Analytical Insomoniac Thoughts

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So was taking out my contacts last night and ironically thought of perspective and how mine defines who I am. It was almost laughable because I don't mean the vision type of perspective but the "life outlook" sort of perspective.

Mine's weird. I over analyze to an extreme with I undoubtedly get from my Mom (perhaps her only flaw? thanks mom :p ) But in as many ways as over-analysis is a bad thing, it is also a tremendous tool which college has started teaching me how to harness.

I don't think there's a simple way to describe perspective. I think mine's pretty good. (Not vague at all, right?) But okay here are more specifics. I am constantly evaluating everything I do based on how others view my actions. I am not necessarily changing what I do based on other people's reactions... that just becomes conformity, which is one thing I am definitely not. (Although coincidentally I often agree with the majority... hmmmm.) This out of body sort of perspective makes me a strange person, among a zillion other things. It makes me much more conscious of other people, although once in while (oh alright... often) makes me more narrowminded and critical of myself. This isn't terrible; most of the time. Last year it was a huuuge problem. This year it has proved to me a blessing.

See how things change? Finally change is a blessing. Which is another thing. I am very comfortable with habit and don't generally like change. But I have come to appreciate it and its benefits. Just because I am more comfortable with the status-quo doesn't mean I dislike variation or change. I have come to embrace it and hope I begin liking it more. Self improvement is the best kind of change and this is what I have especially embraced over the past 18 months.

But back to over analysis (interestingly this over analysis is probably the reason I started blogging... to help understand myself, all you reader people are secondary :p ).

I woke up at 2:30AM. FAIL. This is what happens when I try to go to bed early and get a good night's sleep: I go to bed early, get the same number of hours as I would normally, struggle to get back to sleep while normally failing at it. I fail at it because it feels like a waste of time... my mind would rather be working!!

This over active, over-analyzing mind is what led to this blog post which is days behind. My new job, which just happens to be blogging (more or less...) has taken up a lot of time. I've been enjoying every minute of it. Writing for that blog has served a very different purpose from this one. It has served as an outlet for creativity and analysis (similar to this one) but on a very different subject. The subject of cars is much more interesting to me than myself and I get a lot more pleasure analyzing General Motors and writing reviews than figuring out how truly disturbed I am. Haha.

On that note, it is 6AM and I have already been productive today (not bad, eh?). I am going to go change, go to the gym, and then shower/breakfast (the order of the last two are TBA.... keep and eye on twitter cus I'm sure to update somewhere in there).

Good morning! I hope you have as good a day as I am about to!