Identity

Now playing Emaline by Ben Folds via iTunes

When I was little I read a poem or was given a poem or something written from the point of view of a young child. It was a memory, actually written by a middle-aged man. The poem described roles in life and how a person can have so many identities (both at once and at different times). Anyone in my Organization Behavior class will remember our session on this topic. Most of us are nearing the end of our student identity. It’s a fascinating concept to me that identity can change. Really, fundamentally change as a person grows and ages.

My identity as a teenager recently ended. I think that is the core reason that my 20^th freaked me out so much. It seemed like a fundamental change to who I was.

Anyways, back to the poem. This man wrote the poem and it was a description of a moment from his childhood when he observed his mother. His mother was unaware that she had an audience. I don’t’ remember any language or anything too specific about the poem but the description of his mother had nothing to do with the fact that she was the author’s mother. This was the focus of the poem. The description and verse focused on the fact that at that moment she was merely herself. The woman was alone in her own body, focused on her individual moment. She was not a mother then, she was not a wife. It must have been weird for the author to observe his mother like this. But also very educational. I remember that even as a child, I was definitely 10 or younger, this fascinated me. Now I understand why and I think it’s an interesting interaction between psychology, personality and identity.

I think one aspect of the poem that is interesting is that the mother was alone. She was herself doing whatever she felt because no one was around (that she knew of) to affect her behavior.

Is this a form of insecurity? Do people tailor their behavior to those that are around them? I hate ‘fake.’ And although I see this as a form of being fake (as opposed to your true personality/behavior) I consider this completely different and am not bothered by it nearly as much. Maybe because it’s more natural and common.

I just looked up wondering what else I had to say about this. I’m sitting in a local district court for jury duty. (ugh). People watching is prime even if there aren’t many people here. I don’t know whether it’s my psychology interest or sociology or whatever but people fascinate me. Just standing in the lobby before we even came in was nuts. Literally… some of the people there are crazy. But watching people and trying to “figure them out” is really fascinating (not fun though) for me.

I think I’ve mentioned this in a previous post. In middle school I won my first academic award and in the speech a teacher gave about me he said he was afraid that I “had them all figured out.” At the time I just thought it was funny. Now I think it’s hilarious albeit very true. I’m not claiming he was right. I’m not sure if you can really benchmark whether or not you’ve figured someone out. Although I do feel like I’m better than average at it in many ways.

Have you figured me out? I’m probably one of the few people that I can’t quite figure out. But after 20 years I’m well on my way.